John Thomas was an amazing man. So full of everything you could ask for in a person: loving, kind, brotherly, a joy and blessing to be around.

The pain I feel now that he is gone is almost unbearable. He was the kind of guy I wanted to be more like; and there are very few I say that about. He was a simple man, what you saw is what you got. He didn't care what others thought and he didn't conform to what others thought he should be. He was an exceptional human being who loved his wife more than anyone else I've ever seen. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her, nothing. Only in his death did he fail her.

I now realize if that is something even he could succumb to, how could the rest of us not? He was a warrior, a knight in shining armor, a real man. When I think of him, I think dedication. Relentless dedication.

Life is not fair. I thought I had come to realize this before, but I was wrong. Nothing i have experienced in my entire existence can come close to this. Nothing at all.

When I remember John, I can't imagine him without a smile on his face, love in his heart for those in his life, and a willingness to do whatever it took to make his true love, Helen, the happiest person on earth.

John was the kind of guy you could never really get mad at. And if you did, it was for one of two reasons: protecting his wife or telling you the truth you didn't want to hear. Or both.

It saddens me to know that over the next 50 years there will be people who will have missed out on experiencing John. They will never know firsthand of his gentleness, joy, and strength. I pity those people.

I hope to be at least half the man, husband, and human he was.

There are not enough tissues to dry my eyes, not enough hugs to comfort me, not enough people to fill the void left by him.

John Thomas, I will miss like you will never know. If I can make one promise to you, it is this: I swear to take care of Helen for the rest of my life. I promise I will treat her like you did, with the greatest of repsect and love. I promise to make her as happy I humanly can. I promise to be there for her when no one else is. I promise to keep her safe from any harm that may come her way. I promise. I promise. I promise. She is now to me like only the one other person I would give my life for.

John Thomas, you were like a brother to me. I know I never told you how much I respected, loved, and enjoyed being around you. For that, I am sorry. I am sorry I didn't know you as well as I wanted to. I wanted to become someone you call me at anytime, stop by for any reason, just hang around for absolutely no reason at all. I am so sorry, so, so sorry.

I will never forget your patience. I will never forget your love for your wife. I promise I will never forget you.

I will never forget you.

Ben

Dear Mom,

Another year has passed since I last saw you. I miss you so much, time hasn't done much to heal the loss
I feel for you. I wish I could have that last visit back, we would have done more. I hope you forgive me.
Dad is still hanging in there but he misses you so. Trapper and Malory are going to have a baby in April.
You are going to be a great grandmother. Come to me in my dreams and give me a sign that you are OK.
I love and miss you so much.
Your daughter,

Janice

Hi Mom and Pop,

Mommy, it's been four years since I've seen you. It just doesn't seem right.

Daddy, you left and I couldn't say good bye. Glad you went peacefully, and on yours and mommy's 62nd wedding anniversary!

Still it hurts that I couldn't get one more hug from my pop.

I love you mommy and daddy.

Dear Mike,

It's been 6 years since I saw you last. I can't believe that I actually lived through the heartache.

There were times when I thought things would never be normal again. Everyday was just like the day you left me and I just couldn't imagine how I could possibly go on without you, but I did and it was hard.



I just want you to know that I still love you with all my heart and soul. You always told me that you would wait for me on the other side and I just want you to know that I am coming, just no yet.



Ann Marie had Julie Ann and it was so hard for her, you not being there but I told her that you see Julie Ann and you are watching over her. I guess you know that she now has a set of twins that will be a year old next month.

I was with Billy tonight and I see your eyes in him. It touches my heart when I look into his eyes. God I wish you were here.



I just want you to know that I still love you, no matter what has happened. You always wanted me to get married again and I did, but my heart is still with you. Bobby said that if his first wife came back, he would tell her that he is married and she would have to leave. If you came to that door right now I would be the happiest person in the world. There are a lot of things in life that you can change, but this is not one of them. So the best I can do is tell you that I still love you and to please wait patiently for me.



Love you forever,

Linda

Dear Christopher,

I was just at a meeting and the topic was "Courage to change the things I can". I didn't have much to say at the meeting. You are always on my mind and in my heart. I just don't even know what to say most of the time so I say nothing.

On my way home the thought came to me about how my heart was always in the right place, but most of my actions were wrong. I wanted to be a good mom. I tried to be a good mom. Sometimes I felt powerless to change and actually do those things I wanted to do. Sometimes I felt powerless to keep trying.

I ask God for help every day, in just about every situation, to be the best person I can be - to help others, spend time with them, give them my attention, etc... etc... etc... I have so much I regret with you, with Andy, with so many others. Those 3 weeks you came back home, I didn't even know what to do. I just wish I would've asked God to show me what to do. Instead I just held onto the fact that I didn't know what to do, so I didn't really do anything. Though I was there for you and maybe, that's all I could've done.

I love you so much. I miss you and think of you always. I miss your smile and your entire being, your hugs, your I love you's, and everything! I will see you in a moments time.

Love,

Mom

Dear Mom,

It's been five years since you left us. Sept 27 It was a rainy, windy Sat morning and Marla called and said it was
time to say goodby. You left us that morning and you would be happy to know your wrinkles too.
Mom I miss you so much. I miss talking to you I miss your advice. You always knew when I was down
and tried to cheer me up. I talk to Marla everyday but she's not you.
I'm so sorry I didn't get to spend more time our last visit in SF. I was so worried about my jobs, I didn't give
you enough attention. I wish I had that visit back. Come to me in my dreams and let me know you forgive
me my slight. I Love and missyou.

Your daughter,

Janice

Mom,
You came to mind to night,so I thought I would write you a short note.Your granddaughter starts her new school on Monday.She is a little scared but I'm sure she will do just find.The sale of your place in Walnut Creek went through in August.Both Michael and I are glad to have that taken care of.
I know you were with us in Corvallis.So,what did you think of their new house? I don'
t think they will stay there very long.Michael can't be away from Concord to long.
How is Dad?How are you an Mary getting along?
Love
Your Son

Hello, dear Ruth.

Today I was sitting out on the front porch, watching and listening to the birds. I have to remain really still or they get spooked and don’t come. I had sat so still for so long, not moving a muscle, ears tuned to the birds and the wind, when I suddenly felt that you were standing just around the corner of the house, watching and listening with me. I didn’t dare get up and walk around the corner to see you because I was so afraid that would scare you away too, just as it would the birds.

You would be 50 now. What would you look like? What books would you be reading now? What gossip would we have laughed over had you dropped in for lunch today? Oh, dear sister, I miss you so much. I hope you are well and happy.

All my love,

Alice

xx

Dear sweet beautiful girl,

How beautiful you looked in the photo they released in the paper and on the news. You were all dressed up for a wedding or something and looked like an angel. Why oh why sweetie did you wander away from home? Who was supposed to be watching you? Oh, my sweet baby, you were the same age as my twins. To think you had to go through so much pain. I hope to God you didn't see the car that hit and that you went unconscious quickly. I don't know what I believe, but for your sake precious, I hope you went to a better place and there were open arms to scoop you up and keep you safe.

I hope that your short little life means something to others. I hope your terrible sacrifice will help prevent this from happening to another child. I hope every caretaker makes sure his or her charge is kept safe and not left wandering to go out into the street.

In my mind I am holding and rocking you and mourning you deeply and I never knew you--a life that barely got started.

Sleep gently little angel.

Dear Mom,

This is about 08 October 2007, Monday. I woke up a little after 6AM to give you your meds, tried to wake you up and to my surprise you opened your eyes! It has been a few days since you could open them...You looked straight at me and you lifted your left hand towards your mouth to tell me "no more". I recall waking Manang Nelly so you could see her too. Right then, I knew you were losing the fight-cancer was winning. I can still picture and see the last time your eyes were alive.

Manang Nelly summoned me to wake Jack and Mary Ann...We surrounded you and we prayed the Holy Rosary with you. During the day we called friends and families. You have alot of friends...They came by to say goodbye.

Darryl came by with the kids around noon. Shawn, Miana gave you a hug and a kiss, I do not remember if I let Kade kiss you.

You were breathing heavily and it hurts to see you like that. We all talked to you and we prayed the Holy Rosary around you. Seeing you like that was difficult for everyone. You were so bubbly and here you are gasping for air. Your breathing was shallow and heavy. It was so sad to see you like that. We all keep telling you, "adto na lang Mom, para di ka maglisud". When you were at the hospital, I remembered what you said," Dili unta ko pa antuson sa Ginoo". The Lord answered your prayers, he did not let you suffer.

Mom, did you know that you died on Jackie's birthday? Now, you made sure we won't forget about you :)

At 3:10PM, you took your last breath. Mary Ann and Mavies, your caretaker, was praying next to you, she was so nice. Such an angel. She had a button pin that said,"praise the Lord". Isn't it weird? And you always say that praise.

Late that night the guys from the funeral parlor took you away. Jack zipped you up and kissed you for the last time...It was very painful. I hope you have no more pains and no more worries...
I think about you everyday, Mom.

Love, Jale

Dear Mom,

Today is your special day!!! And I wanted you to know that I was thinkin’ about you, and missing you, as I do every day. But especially today. It’s always such a hard day to get through, as I have so many fond memories of Mother’s Days past, when the kids were small, and we would all get together. That was always so much fun! And today, no one is here to share this day with, and it makes me so sad. Missy called, and Charlie tried, and Scott was wonderful and made a special effort to let me know that the doggies all wished me a happy day! So that was really nice. But Mom, I wanted you to know that I miss you every single day, and wish you were still here to spend this day with. And I wish you were here for me to call, and come see. I still have a really hard time going to the store around Mother’s Day, because they have those pretty little orchid corsages that I would always get for you…which I have bought just to set on the table, pretending that you were here. But, it’s just not the same. So, I’m glad that I can write you this letter, and hope that you know how much I love you for the wonderful mom that you always were to me. I know it must have been so difficult having one last daughter to raise long after all the rest were gone. But you did a really great job of it! And I can only hope that I am half the mom that you were. You were very strong, and smart and you could do anything. Nothing ever seemed to get you down. And I always looked up to you. I only wish that we could have had more time together…I really wasn’t ready for you to go. But, that’s kind of selfish, as I know you had many difficult times, and your health was becoming a real problem. But, I needed you, and I guess I’ll always need you, so really there never would have been a good time for you to go. So for today mom, just know how much I love you and miss you, and hope that you get my message, cuz I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Love you, Mom

Lisa

Happy Mother's Day Ma, and Pop, thanks for the fireworks show last night, you know why I broke down, it's been eight years to the date and it seems like such a short time ago when we were building the el toro or sailing by the ships in the estuary. I think they were the happiest times we spent together. Watch for the christening of the boat, we'll celebrate with your favorite, extra dry Kobel. A little for you, a little for Neptune, and some for the boat. Apparently you approve of the new boat...you of course saw you name on each hulls side. Hopefully you'll continue to bring us home to the safe harbor with your lighthouse in place. And Ma, wish we could have had another wonderful dinner in Monterey...probably would have gone to Pebble Beach again, maybe Roy's this time. I miss you both and thanks for continuing to make life good for me and r.

Happy Mother's Day,

Mom,
I hope you are having a wonderful day in your new home.We missed spending the day with you.This being our first without.Please let both Helen and Mary know that are now and soon to be great-grandmothers.Visiting your grave yesterday and left some pink roses for you and Dad.Last night both you and Dad came to me in two different dreams.It was a surprise to hear and see both of you.
I took a look at the old house on Friday.They have removed the overhang on the patio,enlarged the driveway and taken out the tree in front.I can still remember so many times in that house and swimming in the pool.I wished Maria could have learned to swim there.
Seeing so many reminders everywhere about Mother's Day only reminds me of our last one together.You could hardly feed yourself and I helped you thinking the whole time "why" you had always been so independent your whole life.
I know you must be in a better place and surrounded by people you care for.Till the next time.
Your
Son